“We’re thinking about marriage but we can’t afford to…”

Her Question:

“Good morning Pastor Dan. I have a question. So recently I have been feeling convicted on a lot of things but mostly that my significant other and I should get married…mostly because living together ….with two kids is not only a so against God, but a bad example for my kids. NOW….with that said…although I am not a perfect parent nor person, I am, however DOING THE BEST I CAN. My kids are well loved, taken care of etc, but I can’t help but keep thinking that God wants better for me.

I’m feeling that we should run and get married right away….what’s stopping us you ask? The kids are on Medicaid and our household receives govt benefits, food stamps etc…if we were to get married, we would lose all of that. I am not working right now because I am home with the baby, we are down to one income and my significant other says he doesn’t want to get married out of “fear”.

I’m confused because I want to do the right thing, I want to be an example to my kids, but I’m scared. Scared that we will go homeless, food less, etc…I also want to respect my significant others feelings about getting married not out of fear, but when we both feel ready, but I DO FEEL READY.

I’m asking for direction and pointers maybe to help me make the right decision. Do you have any wise counsel or bible verses for me. Please. Thank you!”

My Response:

“Praise the Lord, [her name]! You are listening to the Lord impressing you to follow Jesus and His counsel in the Bible. It is scary to follow Jesus and the Bible because it means changing our lives, trusting Jesus to take care of us instead of the government or ourselves. It means we feel we are losing control (when we never really had control). It means taking steps by faith even when we can’t see what is ahead.

But Jesus said…

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Matthew 6:33.

Did you get that? When we put God and His truth first He will ADD all other things. We can trust Him far more than we can trust ourselves.

Marriage was invented by Jesus Himself! He came up with the idea. He gave us principles on how to do it His way. He even gives us help when we have messed things up.

So… I encourage you to go for it! I encourage your significant other to go for it! It is not only best for your children but it is putting God in first place so He can help you have a better future.

The day will come when you are not on food stamps, government assistance, etc. and it can happen sooner rather than later when you put God first in everything!

Go for it! Your pastor can help if needed. I can help if needed. But it all starts with a decision to let God be God and to listen to and follow Him. I think you are ready and I think your significant other may be ready to take that step of faith in Jesus, too.

I’m praying for all of you! You are about to have the best chapters of your life as you put Jesus first!

About danserns

Happily married and father of three great kids. Seventh-day Adventist pastor who invites everyone to accept Jesus as their Savior and Lord, embrace all the teachings of the Bible and join a vibrant Adventist group.
This entry was posted in Bible Study, Family, Pastoring, Sexual Issues, Why Not Try This...? and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to “We’re thinking about marriage but we can’t afford to…”

  1. Vialo Weis says:

    Your answer was on point, Dan!


  2. Warren Ritchie Christianson says:

    These tough financial situations have been tools in God’s hands to help me learn to trust Him. Instead of theory, it becomes real and I have grown. He has taken me from having nothing to being an RN, a general contractor, having a functional home that is totally paid for and no debt. If we want the Jordan to part, I discovered we need to step out into the water by faith. Ritchie Christianson, Columbia, CA

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s